


Fay don't hesitate

by CodingGengar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 10:31:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10897506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CodingGengar/pseuds/CodingGengar
Summary: Morgana will do anything to protect King Arthur, but sometimes she just wants to go back to where her magic doesn't need to be hidden. (Besides, she hasn't seen Salazar in a while).





	Fay don't hesitate

Her blue eyes observe everything. Nothing goes past them and no one can fool her. A mistress of illusions (Merlin always calls her a fox, sniffing around and tricking the unaware), Morgana is the advisor of the King.

Even more than that, she feels confident of Arthur's friendship, and so she does everything in her hand to keep him safe from those who wish him harm.

Sometimes, she is included in that list because she knows herself. She's close to her limit, almost at the edge.

Morgana doesn't want to reach that point of no return where she finds herself caged. Will it be wrong to fly away before she falls into the insanity of a world without magic?

* * *

The boy is here before the court opens for the lowborn. He fidgets with a hat of straw and keeps looking around; Morgana's mouth dries at the sight of those eyes.

"He's of the fae, Merlin," she tells Arthur's other advisor —her other friend, for she has only two of them. Well, three if you count dear Salazar, but it's been a year since they saw each other last. "And he's dangerous."

Merlin looks at her and her veins turn cold. He is one with time right now, looking at the possibilities of futures that can only be sighted by people like them. His eyes, a startling amber, are fixed in her.

"Aren't you fae too, Morgana?" he asks, coming back to the present and crossing his arms on his chest. He looks away, searching for the boy that has now lost himself in the sea of people trying to ingratiate themselves with the King. "Remember. I have seen beyond the blue of your eyes to find the violet colouring of your people hidden behind charms. I have told Arthur you need to go, but he doesn't listen."

If she is hurt by his words, Morgana hides it well. The truth is that she has thought of that before. There is an incident —a few moons ago— when her power gets out of control and the earth beneath her feet shake, the castle trembling with it. It's Merlin the one who brings her back and discovers the secret she keeps.

"You can't wish me away," she calls out, lifting her chin in defiance even if Merlin isn't looking at her anymore. "Besides, better charms than enchantments and curses, Merlin. The fae boy will not hesitate."

* * *

At the end, the kid doesn't speak. He waits in a corner, hidden by shadows and his own insignificance. Morgana even suspects he is hiding from everyone with magic, and only her eyes and Merlin's can see through it.

"You two are keeping a secret from me," Arthur mentions jokingly during breakfast. The honeyed bacon in her plate looks suddenly more appealing and she grabs a bite, filling her mouth with food and the delicious berry juice Merlin prepares. This way, she doesn't have to answer. "Don't be childish, Morgana!"

"I'm eighteen. I'm allowed to be childish."

"Not here," Merlin replies solemnly, though he's barely a year older than her and only a few months older than Arthur himself. "Here we are only to serve our King."

"Then serve me and tell me," Arthur commands, nodding to the cupbearer to have more wine for himself. "What secrets are my most trusted friends hiding from me?"

Morgana smiles. If only Arthur knew he had a wizard on his table and a part–fae witch drinking from his own wine... But Arthur doesn't know and Morgana has to tell him something else.

"There was a kid at court yesterday," she tells him, ignoring Merlin's not–so–subtle looks and the distinct, magical, sensation of her head being invaded by his Legilimancy. She's stronger than that, though, and shakes him off her mind before he can take control. "I think he might be a spy–child."

What else can she say? They have seen those poor children before, and Arthur's grimace reflects what he thinks of those who turn children into weapons. But those thoughts are better than the alternative.

If Arthur finds out about magic, about real magic and not the medicinal practices of old women who presume to be in contact with nature (Morgana is of the fae, she knows who is in contact with nature and those old hags aren't), they are doomed.

Muggles aren't supposed to know about them, so Merlin (always the clever one) subtly leads the conversation to safer topics. Arthur is laughing again soon enough, and when they are dismissed from the tense breakfast, Merlin catches up with her.

"Don't you dare, Morgana," he tells her, leaning over her. Their lips are almost touching. "I have worked hard to get where I am. You won't ruin this. You won't ruin what I have here."

He storms off after that, leaving her against a wall. She breathes in and out.

Sometimes, she feels like she'll never be enough for Merlin.

Sometimes, she feels like she doesn't belong here at court.

She straightens her dress and walks to her room, where the loneliness of being a witch —a fae too, her heart supplies— hits her and immobilises her.

Sometimes, Morgana feels like running away and leaving all of this behind. But she's afraid that she'll never come back.


End file.
